Tuesday, January 17, 2012

God Has A Plan

I have a mixture of emotions today.  Jeff told me this morning that it looks like they are definitely closing his building, which means he'll be without a job come June if he doesn't find something before hand.  I knew when he called this morning that that is what he was calling about.

With big news like that looming over our heads we decided it was time to find out the official news on something else that has been hanging over our heads.  Are we expecting a third baby?  Mother nature has not been to visit me for sometime and it's very unlike me.  Although when we found out we were pregnant with Bennett it was a screwy situation (I'll save that for another post) so I thought this really could be a possibility....baby #3.  So I called the Dr.'s office today to schedule a blood test for tomorrow.  Well I got my answer this evening.

I have to say that I am very disappointed.  I had mixed emotions in the beginning.  It wasn't planned but I've said all along that I want three kids and Jeff has always said two, although not firmly.  I was excited at the possibility but also a little reluctant.  My reluctance came from wanting to make sure that Bennett gets all the attention he deserves as a baby and toddler, just as Carson did and a new baby would take away from that.  But as days passed I grew more and more excited about the idea of having another baby.  I absolutely love being pregnant and having babies.  It's something that agrees with my body and my mind more than anything I've ever known.

I really do believe that God has a plan for us and that right now isn't the time for us to be adding to our family.  I just hope that that doesn't mean we are looking at rough times ahead but more like keeping our worries to a minimum for the time being.

I really hope that someday in the near future I get to bring another baby home from the hospital to join our family.  I hope that Jeff will want the same things I do.  I hope that I'm not asking for too much and that God will bless our family with another perfect, healthy child.  I hope that's His plan.